A huge Leap of faith ...

What to we actually fear losing in a relationship ? After we break up , what is that undying pain we have in our hearts? What do we mean by losing love and why does it hurt so much ?

When we love someone we begin to trust them step by step , inch by inch . Through their gestures and care we realize that they can be trusted with our heart , our lives. Our inner goddess who was up till now hiding under the bed pops up and claims the throne. She is happy and satisfied . Starts to rule like a queen because she feels she is safe . And you take that leap of faith. You tell him your biggest lies , greatest secrets with a promise of understanding and care . 

You put down the walls be vulnerable and introduce him to your shy and meek inner goddess. And you inner goddess is so happy to finally find someone with whom she can love happily ever after in her empty palatial house . 

And then your heart breaks. One fine morning your prince charming doesn't return to your inner Goddess . She waits and waits.. She forgets to dress up like she usually does , doesn't eat a thing and stares at you blankly with her smudged mascara eyes.

why did you introduce him  to her ? Why did you vouch for him ? 

Why did you let me take that leap of faith if you were not sure ? 

why ?

And you answer : " BUT I WAS  so SURE !!"

Why I left ...

I left you because I was tired of waiting… 

waiting at the railway station to be picked up by you… 

waiting at the party to be taken home by you… 

waiting for my birthday present… 

waiting that one fine day people will stop taking pity at me because of you …

I was tired of living up to the perfect couple label when in my heart I knew we were not even a couple let alone perfect…

I was tired of being alone in a relationship with you… you see , you left me much before I did !

A messy Affair !!!

Nothing but a messy affair...

she hold him tight 

goes out of sight  

Will go to someone else tonight...

she keeps him too and loves him too

she tells him that " I am made for you" 

She has her stories ... seductive ones

Where she made out with every one turn by turn...

She eats apple pie in hiding

And has a degree in lying...

But I still hold her close to my heart

Her brazen thoughts, so original , so wild...

She enjoys her philandering trips

With an innocence of a child...

She chats dirty , she wears cheap

She smells like cigarette in fresh air

She tells me as she settles her skirt

"Relax Sweety! It is nothing but a messy affair !!!"

Just a touch...

May be 

Just a touch 

will do

Will bring back that charm we had...

That furnace inside me will light up

If water droplets trickle down my spine...

Kill the pain with silent hope 

and hold my hand till my body goes numb...

Leave me forever but for once

Embrace me like you will never let me go...

If only...

There are times when I think of holding your hand and never let you go…

There are times when I think of mingling your soul with mine…

If only I could lie next to you and cuddle you so tight…

I would be a peaceful woman with sleepless nights…

My Dearest Allie

My Dearest Allie.

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you.

Noah I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.

PS: I found this in my quotes collection. It is probably from some movie. I loved every word in this and thus I am publishing it here. I have been trying to write a poem for so long but I am not able to finish any. So I have now almost five unfinished poems...Till I complete them I may post some of my compiled collection.Not written by me but still a part of me.

I thought about you !!!

Dearest Love...

I thought about you

your essence

Your presence..

fill the room with your laughter

Let me moan in the bathtub,

Dressing ,Undressing and making love

Close dancing in the night club..

those rejuvenating massages

Which didn't just end there...

Little black dress , high heels

your fingertips and my wet hair..

The way you hold me close

Soft kisses on my nose,

Cuddled bliss at night

When you hold me so tight...

I lost to you..My Heart ,

My love , my life ..

Hold me if I fall

And be my guiding light...