A huge Leap of faith ...

What to we actually fear losing in a relationship ? After we break up , what is that undying pain we have in our hearts? What do we mean by losing love and why does it hurt so much ?

When we love someone we begin to trust them step by step , inch by inch . Through their gestures and care we realize that they can be trusted with our heart , our lives. Our inner goddess who was up till now hiding under the bed pops up and claims the throne. She is happy and satisfied . Starts to rule like a queen because she feels she is safe . And you take that leap of faith. You tell him your biggest lies , greatest secrets with a promise of understanding and care . 

You put down the walls be vulnerable and introduce him to your shy and meek inner goddess. And you inner goddess is so happy to finally find someone with whom she can love happily ever after in her empty palatial house . 

And then your heart breaks. One fine morning your prince charming doesn't return to your inner Goddess . She waits and waits.. She forgets to dress up like she usually does , doesn't eat a thing and stares at you blankly with her smudged mascara eyes.

why did you introduce him  to her ? Why did you vouch for him ? 

Why did you let me take that leap of faith if you were not sure ? 

why ?

And you answer : " BUT I WAS  so SURE !!"

Holding on V/S Moving on

She loved him with all her heart but it didn't work. 

She tried hard but it didn't work. 

She cooked his favorite dishes , got his approved haircut even joined a gym but it didn't work.

He went away to a a land that suited him more , where her little imperfections wouldn't hinder his perfect life.

He went away from her...

You know how she felt? It was like losing something you never had. 

It is the worst of it all.

 But she survived.

Moved on ...

One fine day , he came back .. Back to her ..

But y ? How dare he? How can he have the courage to come back to her ?

Few people never stop taking us for granted.

Does love make us look weak. 

"In a relationship one who loves less is strong "!! Is it true?

Do we really take our ex's for granted . 

People who loved us with immovable faith and always put our happiness above there own. 

The belief that they will take us back anyway is the biggest disrespect we can cause them and to their love. 

Always remember love gives us strength to endure all the hardships and challenges of a relationship and that is what make us to hold on to all the crap our partner gives..

But the moment you decide to end it, not hold on to it further , you are free. 

Yes you can walk away... love will empower you... Never test the limits of the one who loves you.. 

"Those who have the courage to hold on also have the power to move on , they just chose not to"

Soul Broken V/S Heart Broken

Amongst various types of people around us .. the most frustrating ones are “ the walls”…

Those who angry us by their stupid deeds… over interference … and the best part is we cant even complain.. cant even express that they are killing you .. that you hate them .. that you want them out of your site and sometimes even outta your life… but y cant u .. coz they r the walls… they wont change , react.. understand…

What is more frustrating? .. not telling someone that they hurt you and thinking that they will not understand or telling sumone that they hurt you and seeing that they don’t understand?

Have you ever been heart broken ?

That sharp pain inside that never goes… you feel like you cant breathe or that you will die of heartache… and you suddenly realize how meaningless everything is and how lonely you are in this whole wide world… and you pick up the phone and dial the number of the one whose hurt you … 

you make the call .. accept that they have hurt you … unable to speak coz tears choke you… still you try to find the sharpest of the words and try to take revenge .. 

If only words could kill… and all this while you know in your heart that this verbal attack wont match up to the heartache you got but still it will let you breathe… 

And you end the call with a last line that means “it doesn't matter” though both the parties know how much it did and it always will… 

Phew!!! Then you go to the window and look up like you know god is watching … you look down at the endless vehicle lines… and a sigh!!! Which means that neither god nor any human being can understand your pain let alone ease it…then you feel numb and sometime later you start to relax…

Grieving is a process… it has stages ..from start to end …scientifically around four.. (search on google).. so don’t you ever worry it will definitely end..

But have you ever been soul-broken? 

Let us suppose .. we didn't make the call that I described in the above paragraph .. then what would you feel.. imagine that person will never come to know about your pain.. imagine not sharing.. not avenging.. just nursing your broken heart alone…

That’s soul-broken  it like having a wound in your heart that will never heal .. a broken soul.. that you carry everywhere .. all the time… and even after years a soft touch on that wound would hurt like it did for the first time…

Soul Broken – a thriving wound..

 

Why I left ...

I left you because I was tired of waiting… 

waiting at the railway station to be picked up by you… 

waiting at the party to be taken home by you… 

waiting for my birthday present… 

waiting that one fine day people will stop taking pity at me because of you …

I was tired of living up to the perfect couple label when in my heart I knew we were not even a couple let alone perfect…

I was tired of being alone in a relationship with you… you see , you left me much before I did !

I don't love you any more!!!

I don't love you any more ...

I cannot hold this love close to my heart

and sing lullaby for long ...

I cannot buy gifts on your birthdays

and send mails on anniversaries...

I can no longer smile to receive you

On the railway station...

For once , I am happy

That nothing will now be expected out of me...

I set you free ...

free from a person

incapable of loving you ,

the way you want to be...

love is like falling from a tall building

If you got to fall

let it be from the highest floor

And that is not me...

My Dearest Allie

My Dearest Allie.

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you.

Noah I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.

PS: I found this in my quotes collection. It is probably from some movie. I loved every word in this and thus I am publishing it here. I have been trying to write a poem for so long but I am not able to finish any. So I have now almost five unfinished poems...Till I complete them I may post some of my compiled collection.Not written by me but still a part of me.