Soul Broken V/S Heart Broken

Amongst various types of people around us .. the most frustrating ones are “ the walls”…

Those who angry us by their stupid deeds… over interference … and the best part is we cant even complain.. cant even express that they are killing you .. that you hate them .. that you want them out of your site and sometimes even outta your life… but y cant u .. coz they r the walls… they wont change , react.. understand…

What is more frustrating? .. not telling someone that they hurt you and thinking that they will not understand or telling sumone that they hurt you and seeing that they don’t understand?

Have you ever been heart broken ?

That sharp pain inside that never goes… you feel like you cant breathe or that you will die of heartache… and you suddenly realize how meaningless everything is and how lonely you are in this whole wide world… and you pick up the phone and dial the number of the one whose hurt you … 

you make the call .. accept that they have hurt you … unable to speak coz tears choke you… still you try to find the sharpest of the words and try to take revenge .. 

If only words could kill… and all this while you know in your heart that this verbal attack wont match up to the heartache you got but still it will let you breathe… 

And you end the call with a last line that means “it doesn't matter” though both the parties know how much it did and it always will… 

Phew!!! Then you go to the window and look up like you know god is watching … you look down at the endless vehicle lines… and a sigh!!! Which means that neither god nor any human being can understand your pain let alone ease it…then you feel numb and sometime later you start to relax…

Grieving is a process… it has stages ..from start to end …scientifically around four.. (search on google).. so don’t you ever worry it will definitely end..

But have you ever been soul-broken? 

Let us suppose .. we didn't make the call that I described in the above paragraph .. then what would you feel.. imagine that person will never come to know about your pain.. imagine not sharing.. not avenging.. just nursing your broken heart alone…

That’s soul-broken  it like having a wound in your heart that will never heal .. a broken soul.. that you carry everywhere .. all the time… and even after years a soft touch on that wound would hurt like it did for the first time…

Soul Broken – a thriving wound..

 

Why I left ...

I left you because I was tired of waiting… 

waiting at the railway station to be picked up by you… 

waiting at the party to be taken home by you… 

waiting for my birthday present… 

waiting that one fine day people will stop taking pity at me because of you …

I was tired of living up to the perfect couple label when in my heart I knew we were not even a couple let alone perfect…

I was tired of being alone in a relationship with you… you see , you left me much before I did !

Just a touch...

May be 

Just a touch 

will do

Will bring back that charm we had...

That furnace inside me will light up

If water droplets trickle down my spine...

Kill the pain with silent hope 

and hold my hand till my body goes numb...

Leave me forever but for once

Embrace me like you will never let me go...

Have I asked for too much ?

Just comfort me

When I lie down on bed after a long day's work...

Have I asked for too much ?

Just fetch me a glass of water

when I can't stop coughing...

hold my hand when I remember my dead dog , lost job or a broken dream

Cuddle me in the cold winter nights

you know I get so shivery....

Buy me those pink roses that you never bought

Surprise me with your cooking effort

On a lazy Sunday morning

Or may be just a small message "I love you"

When I am busy with kids and you are with your friends

Please don't sleep when I recite my poems to you

At least appreciate as they are all for you

And sometimes when you think of me as beautiful

I will be glad to hear it...

Have I asked for too much?

Those four lines...

I read it again …

Those four lines

That ended us…

Ended me…

Was it that easy to finish?

Was it such a practical thing ?

Four lines…Your four lines

And my world fell apart…

I have erased everything,

But those four lines

I kept them safe.

A remembrance to heartache

A toast to your cowardice

Poetry of my helplessness…

I read it again…

How beautifully

You accepted your lies,

Like a mirage

In front of my eyes,

Thought I could look through you

Thought you could feel my love…

But four lines, just with four lines

You ended and I endured…

Do you ever think back?

Of life without me?

Or you thought about it too often?

Did you think about her

When I thought about you?

Did you miss her

Every time I missed you ?

Somewhere someday

And I shall ask you

Just one time

One question, one rhyme

Did you love her?

When I thought you loved me….