Thinking about past...

Sometimes we spend a lot of energy thinking about past... Anything from past job to past relationship, from school friends to college life , from ex- boss to ex-girlfriends.. sometimes even about last internet connection you had... last paying guest apartment .... and what fun you had while riding your scooter... that corner juice shop... that paanwala.. your school auditorium.. that college trip...that guy who kept smiling at you.. the one who asked for your number one day....the one who asked your age... the girl who gave u a pen...the friday lunch in informal dress code..

There are so many things we have experienced ... loved , hated , cherished.. we hated them then.. but we love them now.. i get so jealous when I see students on their vehicles , just whiling away time..standing for hours at the vehicle stand and chit-chatting.. like we used to do..

Then there are hurtful things we think about .. the interview we screwed up , the guy we liked, the girl who broke your heart , the boss who never understood your worth ... that friend who ditched ... that exam you didn't clear ...

Let go .. let go of all the beautiful memories.. cherish them or forgive nd forget them...

"Don't look so long at the closed door that you miss other doors opening beside you!!

Life goes on .. We are blessed to experience every part of life .. so live in the present moment .. enjoy it before its gone .. nd later u wud remember how wonderful these days were...

"Let bygones be bygones... there is a reason people in your past didn't make it to your future.."

make ur own mistakes..

I read somewhere that

" life is all about knowing which bridge to burn and which to cross"

And I guess its so true for all of us. Its all about making choices .Wether to eat eggs or cereals in breakfast ,to wear black or white to office ,to go on a second date with him or not , to be mean to them or be tolerant, phew!!

To be or not to be!!

Sometimes we think life would have been much easier if someone else could decide for us but no thats not what we exaclty want , we want someone else to decide something right for us...
And because "right decision" is a relative term , dont you think its better that we decide for ourselves , no matter how stupid we are , how lost we are ... but its always better to make your own mistakes...

Reign over me...

Scene1

One of my ex roommates mailed me a scanned copy of her picture and asked me to sketch it in pencil and I was like – “Does she really think I have the time and energy to do that?”

Scene 2

Leaving aside all my friends, I was comfortable asking for money to my net friend. What more – He lent it without any second thoughts. To top it all we have never met and I have not even seen his picture. And I have yet not returned the money.

Scene 3

On the occasion of Diwali my maid servant asked my mom to put mehndi on her palms. My mom discouraged her saying that –“ Sahiba knows the art, but it depends on her mood .She may say no.!!!”

Our maid servant replied – “ Didi mujhe mana nahi karengi!!!”

Wow what a confidence and that too on me.

A beauty of a relationship lies in liberty we give. The liberty to take us for granted. The best feeling is to know that the other person cannot say “NO” to you. We all have people in our lives that are there for us no matter what. Every day they make small sacrifices for us.

We can call them in the middle of the night and disturb them for almost anything. We take advantage of them and sometime completely forget that we are happy at their expense. They may be missing classes for you just to keep you company. They may be spending money on you when they themselves are in a crunch mode. They may be missing sleep to listen to your stories all night .They will go to see movie of your choice even if they have seen it three times before, they would pamper you, alter their plans for you, give their favorite shirt to you because you like it more, fight with you over ordering Chinese food just because you like it more, but they will never complain. And the best part is we don’t even realize. They are not in your awe or in Organisational Behaviour term – high on agreeableness, they just like to keep you happy. They just want to give and make you comfortable enough that you can even ask for more.

Something as simple as carrying your bags to the hostel room when you return from holidays. Who does it for you? Do you hesitate before sharing your baggage with anyone? Or is there someone who u can call, u can reign over …

What's in the name ?

People say that I contradict myself often thus I have taken the onus of writing on few contradictions of life. Something spurred my thought process today. Like every college, we too have couples (including section 377). Two people who are in a relationship either before or after coming to college. The story goes like this -The girl broke her leg, and the guy is busy driving her around in the wheelchair. He is always there beside her, whether she needs him or not. I am kind of jealous and thought who would take care of me if the same thing happened to me. Let’s leave that question for a while …

Then another scene is when another random guy playing a badminton match and his girl is right there not only cheering all through the match but also waiting for him in the breaks , giving him water , energy drinks . Who would lose with that kind of support?

Then there is my female friend, who is just the most caring person I have ever met. Never leaves me alone in the party, wakes me up for the class, cheers me up when I am low and is always there when I perform on stage.

Now to justify the title, what is the difference between a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a friend, intimate friend, close friend, best friend and above all just a friend?

I believe two things that make a relationship worthwhile – time that you spend together and “being there” for that person. It’s not love that matters, its happiness that does.

It doesn’t matter what we do inside the four walls of the room with our boyfriends and girlfriends, but how we behave outside the room that matters. Small things like eating together , waiting outside the hostel block , waking up each other to attend the morning class , hugging each other when one wins a game , recording their on stage performance to give importance to their achievements , making sure that you compliment her when she looks good etc.

Every non-glamorous, non-romantic thing that we do together, adds to the strength of our relationship. Jennifer Aniston rightly said that a guy really loves you if he follows you to the mall and see you buying toilet paper, something as menial as that .Somehow for me that defines the substance of the relationship, true measure of how will we behave in our day to day life .It’s about finding love in doing things that are not romantic, that are daily ware, unimportant, non-flamboyant. But just the thought of doing it together makes it special. For me anyone, with whom I can do things like these and still have fun, is the most important part of my life, whatever the name of the relationship may be. After all – “what’s in the name?

What a women is ?

I am everywhere, if you love and care,
close eyes to see me, stretch arms to embrace me
I am no where ‘cause I am totally lost,
you can’t keep me in your possession

I am lovable; you may find me irresistible,
adorable and the queen of hearts
I am mean, can behave weirdly and wildly,
if you try to test my patience wrongly

I am simple, no hidden facts,
care to know me and then you get me
I am mystery unsolved, an unreadable book,
an unfinished story, an unending saga

I wanna write to you!!

i wanna write;i wanna write to you,
about how lonely the silence is
and how my nightmares are coming true.
about the echoing remembrance
and intrepid acceptance of love..
i wanna tell you so many things ,
i wanna write to you .....

time seems to freeze
and you have become stolid too.
i am shouting to deaf ears ;
my agony will never ever get through.

love to me is yet so unexplored
and pain sweetheart is just so new.
i don't wanna go back now,
i have come so far in search of you .
no !no! i don't wanna go back ;
i wanna write ;i wanna write yo you ....

now that you are not beside me,
about the unending questions that i have to answer
and how the world gives me a perverse glee.
about how much it hurts ;
to love in a world without you.
about all nights i wished i would have spent with you.
i wanna tell you so many things dear .
i wanna write , wanna write to you .......

On 13 june 2008
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ThE bLaCkBoArd!!!

When i walk on the ocher-yellow leaves and pluck along the white flowers

I often miss those impulsive plans, those dark clouds and cold showers...


I am entangled in the intricacies of lust and boredom

I have lost the patience that once i had.

Yes , I have turned inside-out ;I've changed they say

Now I am a bit sexy, kinda funny and a bit mad...


And when I laugh at the world

They sometimes smile , sometimes gap at me.

They've always been on the other side of the fence

And I know they will always be....


Paint me red and let me bleed

Or freeze me to death and beat me blue.

It will surely add colours to my life,

But I wonder - How will it help you?


And when the lustrous black turns silver grey

The class is over but I've decided to stay.

The blackboard reminds me of what I have never been

Its name is black but it looks so green...

WRITTEN ON 15TH MARCH 2009

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